A thief is someone who steals. It's a simple enough definition, but that's only the beginning... You see, anyone can simply steal. A mugger can steal. But a mugger would have no chance of getting into the Thieves Guild of Corwyth.

In Corwyth, a professional thief is one who is retained by the Thieves Guild (a guild that does not exist. Believe me. I tell you this for your own good). As such, the targets are carefully chosen to avoid royally peeving people it's better NOT to peeve, while doing something to redress the inequality of wealth distribution in a more-or-less heroic way. Certainly in a sneaky way.

Anyone can become a thief. It is an exacting profession, true. And there's the problem that one really shouldn't talk casually about one's work to a chance-met acquaintance. Who knows if that acquintance isn't actually an informer?

And... a thief must be quick of wit, swift of foot, agile, nifty with locks, and able to lie with a straight face. Strength is not necessary, although familiarity with weapons such as caltraps, daggers, poisons, etc., can only be a benefit. Acrobatic skills are highly prized by thieves, and an ability to read a map upside down could come in handy. Acting ability is also considered an asset.

Thieves Guild - The Order of the Juggling Pumpkin

In Corwyth, the quickest way to be arrested for thievery is to steal something without being a member of the Thieves Guild. This Guild offers protection, a licence, friendship, a place to fence your goods, excellent information on targets, and much, much more. (That is, if it existed... and we've already said it doesn't. Right?)

Becoming a member of the Thieves Guild means that one gains the Order of the Juggling Pumpkin. Refusing to become a member means that one is at risk, and WILL be caught, no matter how stealthy one is.

There is no joining fee as such, but 10 percent of all moneys made through thieving must be paid to the Guild. This is a fair offer, particularly considering the alternative.

To find the Guild (which doesn't exist) is not easy. One must wander about subtly, asking subtle questions, being SUBTLE. Very subtle. And if one is given a hint by a stranger, it would be good to follow up that hint... and to follow the hint from the hint... and so on, until one makes contact with someone who has an initiation "job" for the potential member.

Gaol

Thieving is not without its dangers. Even as a member of the Guild, there are some situations from which one cannot be extracted... so it is good for a thief to be SKILLED and ANONYMOUS while going about his or her business. As long as a thief avoids boasting, lurching around conspicuously, or lugging purloined goods with him/her, gaol is avoidable. Unless, that is, a thief has been foolish enough to pull off a job not given, tried to rob the Palace, for instance, or Spelucetia the ArchMage. That would be really... stupid, and punishment would be scary.

Sentencing is pronounced by the Empress and Emperor, and will be appropriate to the crime. In general, a thief can expect to do at least some gaol time.

Bribery is not advisable. Because the justice system works on Imperial power, it is unbribable. Trying to bribe a guard to let a thief escape is not a good idea, because the guards are loyal to the Empire. The best bet for a captured thief is to plead for mercy and give up thievery - or to join a... well, it's a secret sort of thing... Never mind about it now. You do not need to know about it now.

Travelling

Thieves can travel in perfect confidence that their membership in Corwyth's Thieves Guild will be valid wherever they go. It's a sort of Corwythian Express Card, except that it doesn't come in plastic. Thieves Guilds are well hidden all over the Empire - if they exist, that is. A thief's best way of proceeding in another city or town is to ensure he's got the latest Thief Sign memorised, and surreptitiously to perform the sign here and there. He will be contacted by a local Guild member, and all will be well.

Owing to the nature of thievery, most Chief Thiefs won't give a reference - not a written one, anyway. The most common way of endorsing a thief is a) to provide him with a Guild card; b) to provide him with the current Thief Sign; and c) to send a parrot with the thief in question. The parrot, when fed with special Thief Cookies, will croak out the Chief Thief's recommendation. It's amazing how well looked after those parrots are...