The Librarian's Library

Who shall know what is, but he who seeks it?

Who shall know the answer to a question but he who asks it?

Knowledge is power, they say... but even more, knowledge is knowledge.

If a book is in a plain brown paper bag, you probably CAN judge it by its cover...

The Libararian's Books

The reference library

Master Hugh Houwyth, the Librarian, dwells at 202 Mouse Street. Mostly human and always wearing his trademark yellow cap and large spectacles over his huge eyes, he seems a knowledgeable man of between 40 and 50. He occasionally becomes an owl.

His book collection is unique and extraordinary. His position as Librarian entails a vast array of trivial and important knowledge (obscure and common), and he will happily search through the various reference books to aid those who consult him.

Peruse through these books, or consult him directly, for information and interesting curiosities of knowledge.

The Librarian's Personal Song

(written and contributed by Rath Darkblade - slightly edited)

Many stories, songs and poems have been written about heroes, villains, famous batltes and so forth, but none, so far as I'm aware, have ever been devoted to librarians - much less the Corwythian librarian. And so I thought to myself, why not? Thus, here is my attempt to correct, at least in part, this deplorable situation.

"I am the very model of Corwythian librarian"
(parody of "I am the very model of a modern major general" from "Pirates of Penzance" by Gilbert and Sullivan)

Librarian: I am the very model of Corwythian librarian,
I've books about all matters, from financial to agrarian,
I have "The Wealth of Nations" and you know I really read it all,
While reading Plato's book "Apologia", I had quite a ball;

I have read books in Persian, Babylonian, Sumerian,
And I can tell if scholars wrote them or if they're barbarian,
I can interpret Shakespeare, Chaucer, Shaw without embellishment -
And tell you what you mean when you say "Anti-dis-establishment".

ALL:
And tell you what you mean when you say "Anti-dis-establishment".
And tell you what you mean when you say "Anti-dis-establishment".
And tell you what you mean when you say "Anti-dis-establish-stablishment".

Librarian:
And though I'm rather owl-like and I think a bit adventury,
I'll show you all the books from the beginning of the century.
In short, although I do not think you'd call me Rastafarian,
I am the very model of Corwythian librarian.

ALL:
In short, although we do not think you'd call him Rastafarian,
He is the very model of Corwythian librarian.

Librarian:
I know of Greek mythology, from Perseus to Herakles,
And poetry and tragedies, from Sappho on to Sophokles,
I'll tell you all about the wars and battles that Salinia had,
From Daemons from Dimensions dark, and they were really very bad;

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters - ah! - historcial,
Like Hammurabi's laws, and they were oh-so-allegorical,
And I could tell you news of mathematics and geometry,
Astrology, quadratics and espec'lly trigonometry.

ALL:
Astrology, quadratics and espec'lly trigonometry.
Astrology, quadratics and espec'lly trigonometry.
Astrology, quadratics and espec'lly trigonome-nometry.

Librarian:
Then I can tell a genuine ET from phony alien,
And quote a syllogism from a book Aristotelian,
In short, although you prob'ly could not call me proletarian,
I am the very model of Corwythian librarian.

ALL:
In short, although you prob'ly could not call him proletarian,
He is the very model of Corwythian librarian.

Librarian:
In fact, when I am very versed with matters philological,
And also well acquainted with all things aristological,
When I can tell at sight a Dostoyevsky from an Oscar Wilde,
And when to all who ask me for some research, I am very mild,
When I'm can just appreciate a painting of a pelican,
And say "Oh! How exquisite -- and how faintly Fra Angelican!"
And when I know the causes and effects of all the Renaissance -
For after all, you know it did not happen just by happenstance.

ALL:
For after all, you know it did not happen just by happenstance.
For after all, you know it did not happen just by happenstance.
For after all, you know it did not happen just by happen-happenstance.

Librarian:
So now I have become the perfect master of all trivia,
I'll tell you of Augustus and his scheming partner Livia;
But still, although I'm bookish, but not really Botticelian,
I am the very model of Corwythian librarian.

ALL:
But still, although he's bookish, but not really Botticelian,
He is the very model of Corwythian librarian.

Librarian: (more slowly)
And now, as I approach with hope my happy septcentenary,
And as you have just listened to my literary pot-pourri,
I'll tell you of a boon that would have given my forefathers gyp -
Librarian with L-space has the answers at his fingertips!
Now I can find the answers with the help of the Librarian,
He is orang-utang and he is ape extr'ordinarian!
(quickly again)
For when I know my early English history, I'll have a ball -
And tell you why the Saxon Harold wasn't Saxon after all.

ALL:
And tell you why the Saxon Harold wasn't Saxon after all.
And tell you why the Saxon Harold wasn't Saxon after all.
And tell you why the Saxon Harold wasn't Saxon after-after all.

Librarian:
Then I will conclude by quoting Lincoln from the Gettysburg address,
It was a monstrous battle and it ended in a giant mess;
But still, although I am not quite a strict disciplinarian,
I am the very model of Corwythian librarian!

ALL:
But still, although he is not quite a strict disciplinarian,
He is the very model of Corwythian librarian!

Please note that in Corwyth, of course, the ancient civilisations and languages do not actually include Sumerian, Persian or Babylonian. They are simply worlds made up by fantasy writers of Corwyth, as all educated people know!