Pikell Hayling, initially famous for being part of Minty Constrictors, a group of jesters who virtually rewrote comedy, is now justly well-known for his series of travel manuscripts, including such favourites as "In the Footsteps of Sir Rolo Poly", "The Undiscovered Undersea on the Half-Shell", and "The Balthereze: A Journey".

 

 

Around Ythor in 80 Months.

Published by the Corwyth Royal Press (Lower Level Dungeons, Imperial Palace), in the 15th Year of the Gryffon.

Written by Pikell Hayling, adventurer and traveller.

I've always found it intriguing to see how other peoples and species live. One can learn so much, and encounter so many types of food that one wouldn't normally dream of eating. Thanks be to the Empress and Emperor who reminded me that a polite refusal was just as courteous - perhaps even more so! - than being tricked into consuming jellied orc eyes.

In all my travels, I have seen and experienced much; I have nearly perished oftentimes; I have seen the weird and unusual; and finally upon popular request, I have written down my experiences in the earlier chapters of this manuscript. I'm amazed you've read this far. You've suffered with me through the experience of the sandstorm on the Glitterplains, the time I was put into a cooking pot by the Balthereze Dwarves, that really regrettable incident with the secretive Elemi (thank Ichbin I got out of THAT one; and so much more. You must really like my writing. Anyway, now we get to the geographically important bit. I should mention that all the following has been written in collaboration with the Crown Cartographer, who's been an absolutely ripping fellow I must say. Didn't even want his name mentioned. Assured me he loved my book. Top fellow, that one.

Now, I had fun at the Pirthie Swamp, I can tell you. The Hags there are beyond hideous. I flirted with them a while (to turn them up sweet), and then managed to get geyond the Pirthie Swamp, to the further western part of Ythor. There I saw many things, but the ones that will interest you most are: The Invisible Mountain (I didn't figure out why it was invisible, and three weeks climbing the darned thing were the most unnerving time of my life - I never did get to the top); the Elemi Half-Lands (the Elemi are a beautiful and mysterious people who keep very much to themselves – no trading, and they really didn't like me. I got off on the wrong foot with them, and the famous Hayling charm just didn't work), and all I can say about the Elemi Half-lands is that it's beautiful, but you had better avoid the place unless you've got an Elemi contact; the Sebaca Fields (where fatty plants grow. It's odd to see plants that are almost PURE FAT. The plants are heavy, but great if you're running short of butter. The fat is harvested and sold as an export of Corwyth – oil for cooking); the Unctic Mines which are amazing - the land there looks riotous with colour, with so many gorgeous trees and flowers that you wouldn't believe it! - the natural deposits of perfume oil are exported to Corwyth), and beyond that, well, let's say it'll do for another book.

I made some good friends in the western areas - the local tribespeople and the towns there have some interesting customs. I'm sure you'll discover them for yourselves, if you haven't already guessed a few things from the early part of my book.

I then doubled back, heading east again, back through the Pirthie Swamp, and kept going east until I hit the the Glitterplains. I've never seen so many dwarves before in my life. Stands to reason, though - the plains are full of gold. Then about two days' journey east led me to The Pothie, a mist-shrouded area filled with caves and forest areas – home to werewolves and vampires of the non-monster kind. I was in time for the annual werewolf olympics, and I enjoyed it immensely. Mind you, you've got to be careful with these creatures. Work out which clan someone is, and you've got more of a chance of avoiding trouble. Did I mention the Howling Wood? You've probably encountered Howling Wood in some third-grade inns, right? Saves money for a comedian or other entertainment, but believe me, live Howling Wood is even... worse. They are sarcastic sentient trees, and never a good word's come out of them.

Right by the Glitterplains is a small, reasonably active volcano, Volcano Fiammarus, whose lava is used by dwarves to whip up their favourite frothy desert, pav-lava. The lava is collected or extracted by trolls, many of whom have travelled to Ythor in a bid to see more of life. They usually end up in the Glitterplain area. I have to admit, the trolls spooked me. They're almost completely unable to formulate their thoughts, and the way they just stared at me... unnerving.

I got lost in the vast Blancamur Caves, but I did get to see some of the stunning whitestone there. Beautiful stuff it is.

Then on with my travels east, meandering up and down. I found the Ice Plains of Korenae, an icy wasteland glittering under the faint moon, as if with silver. There are cliffs of sheer ice ringing this place. The only way in is along a well-trodden path that leads west... a path of ice that eventually becomes grassy. There is a very large pumpkin in the middle of the ice, and I met the inhabitant of the pumpkin. Interesting person. It's in this region that elves live. Fun, as you know. Be wary of Frozen Salamanders - they're tough critters with a beautiful pelt, as I should know... I was gifted with a coat by one particular elf as I was leaving. He insisted that I should take it, and was delighted with the Corwythian jewellery I gave in return.

Sharply divided from the Ice Plains by an abrupt change of weather is the Veldt region, which is beautifully wooded, balmy in temperature, and gleaming with mystery. Here dwell the elves who cannot tolerate cold - there are quite a few of them. Their language is different, too. No sooner did I learn elvish than I found my accent was being laughed at by these Veldten elves. It's more of a lisp, I'd say - and a lot of words seem completely different, but at least the written language is very similar. The berries from the trees, as well as the herbs and astonishing variety of spices found here, are their primary export. I remember a berry pie which one of my elf friends made... yum... but I also remember being terrified by the Tusked Gabilons (I saw the spotted variety and the pure black, but I'm told there are also white and deep sable varieties). Being gored by one of these would not be a pleasant way to die.

A bit south-east, and I hit the Woods of Derenai, the home of the dryads. Beautiful and mysterious, it's heavily wooded, but I noticed that the trees all seem to grow in a vast circle. Amazingly peaceful... and I was invited to a poetry reading. That was something else... I've never heard poetry like it. And the dryads were... well, they're very pretty, I must say.

Right in the centre of the Woods is the Saporia Lake, perhaps the most beautiful body of water I've ever seen. It's the home of water-nymphs, full of enchantment. A small river runs through the woods, and spills into the Lake in a beautiful waterfall. The song of the naiads is so ravishingly beautiful that I spent a month there, enchanted by it. Eventually a dryad told me it was time to leave, else I'd never be able to. The naïads (those water-nymphs) were very charmingl, and insisted I take with me one of the delicately creamy shells known as Harp Shells. Every time I lift it to my ears, I hear the song again, and it is lovely enough to make me weep and long to be back there.

Now, I know you want to know about Salinia. I did go north, and I did see the walls of Salinia, but I didn't even try to get in. I had some good advice from a local source, and after doing some checking, I realised that the situation in Salinia is even worse than I thought. That's a bad place... and while I'm foolhardy enough in the ordinary way, I'm not suicidal.

I visited every city and major town, and the odd isolated village, in Ythor - but my editor's told me this book is already nearly too long. So... I suppose there might be another book by me at some point. Perhaps I'll call it "From city to town in Ythor".